


Hard To Start With You

by justyncase



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Biphobia, Depression, F/F, Hermione and Pansy plan a date, Homophobia, M/M, PTSD, Post-War, TW: drinking, Transphobia, new year's eve kiss
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-02-13 20:37:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12992070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justyncase/pseuds/justyncase
Summary: "Doubt thou the stars are fire;Doubt that the sun doth move;Doubt truth to be a a liar;But never doubt [my] love."-Hamlet, William Shakespeare~-~Harry and Draco fell into their already terrible mental health after the war. With their best friends trying there best to get them happy again, it was only a matter of time that they would start trying to set them up to get happy. Then... New Year's Eve comes around... and inspiration sparks.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> if you would like to make any fanart/add ons/etc to this fic you can use the tag on tumblr of "fic: Hard To Start With You" and/or by tagging me on tumblr at @justyncase. for those of you that prefer Wattpad: it is also on there on the accound of @justyncase 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!!  
> -Justyn

"Expelliarmus!" Harry screamed.

That was the end of it. The end of a war. The end of a disapproving, discriminatory world. At least that was the idea. With Voldemort dead we might have been able to make a beautiful world that we could all live in. Despite of blood purity, who you loved, lack of love- we could all live.

It had been a year and seven months since the Battle of Hogwarts. Harry James Potter still hasn't recovered fully. Every few months he would still wake up in a sweat, yelling. Screaming. Too many people died for him. For him directly. When the night terrors had stopped for a while, he moved out of the Borrow. About three years previous, his godfather had died and Harry inherited Grimmauld Place. Another person that had died for him. Occasionally Ginny would come over for a night and the two would listen Quidditch broadcasts. Some nights Ron would drag him out of the house for a few nights.

One of the nights that Ginny had come over, Harry had barely gotten any sleep. That was evident. It was mid July, 1998. They ended up not paying any attention to Bulgaria and Turkey play Quidditch. The two just talked. That night was the night Harry Potter, the oblivious bloke he is, found that his exgirlfriend/best friend, Ginevra Weasley was transgender. It made perfect sense once he found out. Ginny was the only girl in a family of six other boys.

"I don't know, Gin. I don't think I belong. Even throughout Hogwarts everyone was attractive. You, Cho Chang, Romilda Vane, Cedric Diggory-"

"Wait what?" Ginny retorted. He liked Cedric?!

"I, Harry James Potter, likes a guy. Y'know Ginevra, I expected more from you. Not being all judgy and sh-" he had been cut off again.

"Harry. I just thought you would have better taste than pretty boy Diggory. Anyways, why would I judge? I'm not exactly- I wasn't- well uh, I- I wasn't born a girl, Harry." Ginny stuttered.

Harry had just blinked. "You're a girl though, right?"

"Yes. 100%. Did you not find it weird that there was one girl in a family of all boys? God you're oblivious." she laughed. "You didn't notice that Dean and Seamus were daring. When they slept in the same bed half of the time-"

"How did you know that?" Harry asked.

"Ron told me. Seriously, you really aren't that sharp are you Harry?" Ginny looked at him, raising an eyebrow.

Harry had scoffed.

"Y'know, this is why you aren't in Ravenclaw."

Everything in that moment was good. Healthy. Harry and Ginny may have decided to just be friends. But it was better that way.


	2. I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> note:
> 
> Hermione's Texts: will be in italics  
> Pansy's Texts: will be in bold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Desire's a gifted life." -Kingdom of Welcome Addiction, IAMX

It was New Year's Eve. The Weasley's usually had a huge party, but most people couldn't make it. Bill and Fleur had a toddler, Victoire. George was out with Angelina Johnson, his current girlfriend. Molly and Arthur decided it best to let their children choose their own thing. Ginny, Ron, and Hermione decided that they would drag Harry out to Diagon Alley, to The Leaky Cauldron. With Hermione and Ginny back at Hogwarts the past year, they hadn't had much time to catch up. They were 20 year olds who had never had a taste of freedom their whole lives. They deserved a night out. Hermione had called Harry the night before asking him if he'd be up for some drinks. Harry reluctantly agreed. He needed to stop stressing over everything. That was a given.

Ever since the war, Harry had given too much thought to everything. He needed to cool down and take some time for himself. Instead of being an ultimate stress case; he went to drink with his friends. The only thing he didn't know was that Hermione and Pansy set the whole night up.

**Pansy Parkinson**

**hey**

_hermione_

_Hello..?_

**Pansy Parkinson**

**so... i have a plan**  

_hermione_

_For what?_

**Pansy Parkinson**

**to set up draco and potter**

 

_hermione_

_..._

_hermione_

_What is your plan?_

**Pansy Parkinson**

**new year's eve. we bring them out drinking to a muggle pub. and then hopefully they get drunk enough to sleep together.**

_hermione_

_Okay... I like it. But what pub?_

**Pansy Parkinson**

**i didnt get that far**

**Pansy Parkinson**

**how about bridge inn??**

_hermione_

_Sounds great!_

**Pansy Parkinson**

**k. see you then :)**

_hermione_

_Yep!_

 

His best friend and Pansy Parkinson were not a good match. Well, they were a dangerous match. Hermione Jean Granger- a very intelligent girl. Knows what she wants and has the ambition to plan and plan to get it. Pansy Parkinson- a resourceful and ambitious girl. She knows how to get what she wants and gets it, no matter the cost. When they were put together who knows what could happen? Honestly if they wanted to, they could take over the world. But they both had had enough of people who wanted to take over the world. So that wouldn't happen... but it could. Anyways, Harry had obliged to go to and drink with Hermione and Ron. They had gotten there at about 21:30 on New Year's Eve. Which meant they'd be there for like... two and a half hours.


	3. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "For who would grunt and sweat under a weary life, when you could just end it?" -Hamlet, William Shakespeare

Draco Malfoy was harder to convince. He was surprisingly more depressed than the Boy Who Lived.  _Very_ surprising, to legitimately anyone.

His hair was soft and everywhere. His eyes were sunken and a dark purple. Barely slept. Barely ate. Barely got out. Pansy got so concerned for him. That was in June- around the same time that Harry and Ginny had  _that_ conversation. Not that it helped much, but Pansy, the concerned lesbian, basically dragged Draco to St. Mungo's for counselling. At first, Draco saw no point in this. Talking to someone wouldn't help him, he was so self assured. A few months into it, he started talking about his family life and problems. At first it was currently that his father and how he was in Azkaban and that his mother wasn't even trying to make him feel better. Then it got to "my parents were not parents when I was growing up. They were there for comical relief. Cared more about getting Vol- the Dark Lord back then their son" to "they forced me to do too much bad. I didn't even realize what they were doing wrong. If I had; I would've stopped them." Kelsie, Draco's therapist, had just listened and asked questions about his parents, friends, possible love interests, anything that she thought would help him not be so depressed.

When New Year's rolled around he was a bit better but a lot needed to be fixed. Pansy and Blaise were already planned and set to go drinking that night. But then it became 21:30 and they were already supposed to be there. And then it was 21:45.

"Draco please. You never leave the house except to go to counselling. I just want us to be able to go out and drink as friends again. Please, Draco. One night and then-"

"Oh my God, Nott. I get it! You can talk my ear off. I'll go. But don't expect me to be happy about it... especially you Pansy." Draco had cut Blaise off and was quite glad about the ordeal. Blaise could talk someone's ear off. Quite literally. He just went on and on and on with no pauses or stops. You'd expect that from Pansy but not Blaise.

Blaise and Theodore had gotten married, illegally at that. Right after the war ended. The two boys saw no reason in staying unhappy when they had been almost killed. At least they were content with where they were at in their lives. But now to get Draco back to his happy,flamboyantly gay, and pining-after-Potter self. Which very well could be impossible. Blaise had always been closer to Draco than his husband. So if Blaise could at least get Draco out of the house and to the pub there would still be time to spend at least a few kisses on New Year's Eve.

Draco stood up from sitting cross legged on his bed.He walked over to the closet and got dressed. There were an array of clothing choices- most of which were black. But if you looked hard enough there would be a whole bunch of muggle clothing. Did Draco even wear muggle clothing? Did he leave the manor occasionally without anyone knowing? That was impossible. You don't just act depressed to the degree that Draco Lucius Malfoy had reached. That would just be idiotic.

"So what should I wear?" Draco's voice called out to his friends.

"Whatever you're comfortable in...?" Pansy replied.

"Haha. Not helping Parkinson."

"Well I don't know why you would be asking me. I'm not your personal clothing choices person." she rolled her eyes. He was a very aggravating person when got out of his usual sad mood. The true two moods of Draco Malfoy.

After the many attempts in fifteen minutes; Draco was dressed in some jeans and a green jumper (a black turtleneck underneath). Actual muggle clothes.  _Muggle_ clothes. Like, clothes that muggles would wear. Who would've thought?

"Okay Malfoy. Can we please go now? I would actually like to get a few drinks in me and I'm sure Blaise has a husband to see." Pansy sighed.

"Yeah, yeah. Let's go Parkinson." Draco replied, rolling his eyes at his friend's concern to get him out of the house.


	4. III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hang me like a dead rose.” -Will Grayson, Will Grayson, John Green & David Levithan

Hermione was checking the clock every two seconds when Draco hadn’t showed up at 9:30. Ron was telling her to calm down and she wouldn’t. Harry was slowly drinking his beer and lost in thought over why Hermione was so stressed. 10:00 eventually rolled around. Hermione took out her phone again; to call Pansy for the billionth time.

 

“Granger?” the too familiar voice called out from the doorway. 

 

Hermione turned around, her dark curls sweeping behind her. She sighed. ‘What took you so long, Pansy?”

 

“A certain person wouldn’t get out the door. It took us until 21:45 to even get out of bed…” the pale girl replied with a sigh. 

 

Draco was standing with Blaise beside Pansy and did not look impressed to say the least. He was bored and could not stand still. Pansy had pulled at her jumper, pulling him over to Hermione. 

 

“Want a drink, Draco?” the dark-haired girl asked the shorter boy. Hermione did say it with complete honesty. Blaise had sat down on a stool, wondering what his loving husband was doing at that very moment. He loved Theodore with all his heart and it hurt him that he wasn’t there to cherish their first New Year’s Eve together as a married couple. Blaise Nott, nee Zabini was the biggest sentimentalist ever. He wanted to share the classic midnight kiss and dance with his husband in the comfort of their flat. All because maybe they were troubled and hurt. Maybe they were still bullied and abused for their parents mistakes. But if they were in the safety of their own flat; nothing could harm them. They were safe and in hopeless love. 

 

As to Harry, he was sitting, reading on the stool. Ron had wandered off, probably to page Viktor, the guy he had been oh-so “secretly” dating for three months. Almost everyone knew.  _ Almost.  _ You can take a guess as to who didn’t know. Harry James Potter; the most oblivious boy alive. Again, didn’t realize Ginny as trans, didn’t notice Dean and Seamus were dating for four years, like… why was he so famous for being “knowledgeable”? It was a fact that would baffle everyone for years. 

 

Draco had noticed the scarred boy and had neglected him at all costs. This only worked until he had actually drank some alcohol. Then he wasn’t drunk but also wasn’t entirely sober as he had a drink. 

 

“Potter, why are you here?” he yowled. 

 

Harry looked up from his book, placing the bookmark inside the book. “Oh… uhh ummm… well... “  _ just spit it out Harry… you probably sound like a plonker right now _ he had thought. “Ron and Hermione brought me out for a New Year’s Eve drink… and- and you?” 

 

“Pansy and Blaise felt the need to drag me out of the house. They say I am deeply depressed or something along those lines.” he reluctantly replied. Not so much reluctant, as just slightly intoxicated. “Could I move next to you?” 

 

“If you so wish.” Harry replied with a sigh to his sentence. 

 

And so he did. Draco Malfoy moved next to his childhood enemy. Maybe this would spark a friendship? He had no clue what would happen. 

 

The two boys sat and talked for a few hours. They were more drunk than when they first started talking, Harry more than Draco. Harry drank a bit sometimes, usually in the pits of his depression. It would help for that time; but would not try to make a habit out of it. Draco drank as a child, as soon as turning eight. His parents allowed him to have some wine at dinner while they ate. 

 

“That’s actual rubbish!” Draco exclaimed. Just as he said that, the faint count over the telly began to play. Everyone began to chant along. 

 

**“Ten”** they looked at each other.

 

**“Nine.”** Ron arrived back with Viktor. They smile at each other.

 

**“Eight.”** Hermione and Pansy are watching the two a few stools down.

 

**“Seven.”** Hermione grasps Pansy’s hand. She didn’t mean to on purpose. 

 

**“Six.”** Viktor holds Ron closer.

 

**“Five.”** Draco nervously glances at Harry. 

 

**“Four.”** “What do you want, Potter?” Draco asks. He barely knew what he wanted. 

 

**“Three.”** Hermione bites her lip and turns her attention to the pale girl sitting beside her. 

 

**“Two.”** Harry gulps down hard and moves closer to Draco. 

 

**“One.”** Draco kisses Harry. In the background you hear the others yelling ‘Happy New Year’. Someone had kissed Blaise. His first instinct was to push him away. Which he did.

 

“Listen mate, I appreciate the-” Blaise was cut off by the slightly taller brunette in front of him. It was Theodore Nott.  _ That bloke  _ he thought. 

 

“Happy New Year, love.” he smiled. Blaise rolled his eyes at his husbands remark. What a surprise. Back at Pansy and Hermione; Pansy had her head upon Hermione’s shoulder. It was quite cute. The two were holding hands and probably discussing how well their plan had worked. 

 

Draco and Harry broke their kiss off very quickly close to when they engaged it. They looked at each other and Harry bit his lip. Harry engaged in their second kiss, which was much more passionate than the first one. 


	5. VI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The prettier the flower; the farther from the path" -Into the Woods, Stephen Sondheim.

The next morning it was Harry who woke up first. Just so we are clear, he was not plastered last night. Well… he was. Just not to the point of forgetting  _ everything.  _ There were blackout moments in his memory. He doesn’t remember Draco walking up to him. He just  _ appeared  _ out of nowhere.

 

Draco had much more to drink the previous night. He barely remembered anything. In comparison to Harry, he had been exposed to much more alcohol at a much younger age. At family dinners he would have been given a glass of wine to drink. 

About ten minutes after Draco turned over in his sleep. Harry, was still sitting up, trying to piece together what he remembered. It was fuzzy and misplaced. Not to mention he  _ felt  _ dizzy and misplaced. Like he almost didn't remember where he was. And it hurt. Draco understood that Harry need time to think things over. He had been there too… and still was 

 

“Morning…” a low, quiet, growling voice called out beside him. 

 

It had made him jump. “H-hey. Morning, Draco.”

 

Did you start using first names with your enemy after you've shagged? What were the rules? Harry would never admit it. But he's only ever been with Ginny and what an… awkward time that was. Awkward, odd, etc. etc. etc. Too many words could be used in description. 

 

The awkward silence from the two boys filled up the room. The two turned away from each other. Draco turned back to look at Harry. 

 

“Are we? Did we? Last night?” Draco stuttered, he was so unable to find words. 

 

“Happy bloody New Year, Malfoy.” Harry rolled his eyes. He put his hand through his own dark hair. 

 

Malfoy shut his eyes. A raging headache had started in his head. He heard a sigh beside him and groaned again. 

 

“Malfoy. Do you want some coffee?” Harry asked quietly.

 

He was standing up and putting on boxer shorts and a shirt. Harry James Potter was  _ not  _ self-conscious. He just really liked shirts. At least that is what he would try to convince himself of. Harry James Potter was wearing his favourite blue shirt. Draco had made his way over, across the room to Harry. 

 

“I seem to have misplaced my clothing.” Draco sighed as painfully as he could. 

 

“Do you want to borrow something of mine while we sort that out?” Harry asked. Genuinely. No sarcasm. What happened?

“There is no way I will fit into your clothing. I am too tall to fit.” did… did Draco Lucius Malfoy just make a slight at height differences?

 

“Okay, Malfoy, you are the tiniest slight taller than me. I am sure you and you’re pompous ass will fit into my clothes.” Harry snorted a bit too loud for either of their minds at the moment. 

 

Draco winced at the sudden rise in voice. After the pain had sort of simmered down, he walked closer to Harry. “Tell yourself that if it helps you sleep at night, Potter.” 

 

It was true. Harry was shorter than Draco. By the slightest half an inch. Like, the tiniest. Probably less than half an inch. He wasn’t  _ that  _ tall. Draco was just that tiny smidge taller, matching his mother’s height.

 

Harry rolled his eyes and got out a pair of pyjama pants and a t-shirt for Draco. “Here you go.” he had given Draco the clothes. 

 

“I will not be needing this.” Draco said, referring to the shirt. 

 

Once the two were changed, they went downstairs. It was a muggle flat in London. Harry decided to leave Grimmauld Place to the Black family tree. Meaning Teddy would get it when he became of age. Draco didn’t want it. Therefore Teddy. It was simple. Small three bedrooms, a small kitchenette, bathroom, and a living room. Small and quaint. Much better than a whole manor to himself. Harry had grinded their coffees and made them. Sugar, cream, and all. 

 

“Potter. What are we doing?” 

 

“What?” Harry was confused. Not that that was surprising. 

 

“We shagged, and I am not sure what to do; we could just go on pretending that nothing happened or… or we could actually face this like adults; or… we become a thing.” Draco splured. 

 

Harry sighed. “What do you want to do?” 

 

“I’m not sure. I’ve known I’ve been attracted to males since fourth year.” Draco replied. “If we want to try to be thing.” 

 

“Let’s talk about this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers,  
> AHHH there are more than one of you!! I apologize for how long this took. Please accept it and I actually had someone edit this... and choose the final outcome of this chapter.


	6. V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco and Harry discuss what might happen between them.  
> ~-~  
> "Don't you dare look out your window. Darling everything is on fire."  
> -Safe and Sound, Taylor Swift

Harry was not necessarily used to one-night-stands himself but being raised in the muggle world it wasn't an uncommon thing to hear of. Draco on the other hand grew up with only wizards. He was not used to the term 'one-night-stand' and sure as hell wouldn't think anything of it now. To Draco Lucius Malfoy, having sex once meant that they would be getting married. Which was not an easy topic when technically his parents had arranged a marriage for him with Miss Astoria Greengrass (a Slytherin a year above him and Harry) since birth. However, with his father gone, Draco was free to make his own choices. If being with Harry was something he truly wanted- but that was preposterous. 

* * *

"Draco I am not sure why you are freaking so much about this." Harry rolled his eyes, somewhat starting an argument with Draco. He was sitting across the table from Draco. The two had coffee in front of them, not bothering with food yet.

"Well of course you don't understand, Potter. You weren't raised around wizards like I was. You wouldn't understand," Draco started. He hadn't realized what he had said yet. "If we had sex it means that we must get married. That is simply the way. We are supposed to wait until marriage like civilized people." 

"Why does holding your bloody wizard blood so high matter so much? Your family isn't exactly the best one." 

"What would you know? You don't have one." 

The look on Harry's face after that was the look of a sad puppy. He was amazed that the other would bring that up. Harry let out a shaky breath. "Don't you dare bring my family into this." he panted. Draco was hesitant at first. He didn't know what to say. He supposed there was only one thing to say.

"I am so sorry Harry, I didn't realize that I-"

"Whatever. You should get going before Pansy starts paging you." Harry sighed. 

And so, Draco finished his coffee and changed into the clothing he had worn the previous evening.  "Thanks for the coffee, Potter." he had said before leaving. 

Pansy was outside of the door, on the phone with someone, when Draco exited the house.  "-we have to keep trying, babe. Eventually it'll work. Eventually." Pansy sighed. "Well, goodbye. Love you." 

"Who was that?" Draco asked skeptically. 

Pansy turned to him, slightly startled, "No one." 

"Right. Could we go?"

"Yeah sure."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pThat was very short because I am working on a small "The Adventures of Jamie Watson and Sherlock Holmes" fic/one-shot. Mainly based around Stanely Hopkins and Langdale Pike (Stangdale) if y'all watch the show. 
> 
> realizing i have never said it, here is my social media:  
> Tumblr: justyncase  
> Instagram: justyncase_  
> Twitter: justyncase_  
> YouTube: justyncase cosplay 
> 
> alright peace   
> -justyn


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